Unearthed: Words you never meant to say

This week’s femail is a bit unique because it was never intended to be sent. Sometimes, there are things that you need to say that you can’t or shouldn’t, but that need to be released from your brain anyway. The spurring words for this unearthed femail involve the topic of marriage idolization in the Church…

Mont Blanc, Failure & Chronic Goldstar Syndrome…

I’ve been struggling with failure lately. Here’s a femail between me and another femail author who gives spot-on advice when I am raw with disappointment and heartbreak. Excuse the language; it gets real. From: Johanna Gusman To: Dena Javadi Re: Mont Blanc Date: 23 August 2017 at 11:42PM Hey, It’s official. I won’t be able…

How not to talk to your future agent, unless she is your friend

To a friend who works in publishing and who, recently pregnant, finds herself navigating her career path and impending motherhood. I don’t have advice, just a growing understanding (and anxiety) of what she’s heading toward.   Hey —-, When I started this email two weeks ago, I was sitting at the Cadillac House in Soho,…

No Church in the Wild

Writing, from the writer’s perspective, exists in some perpetual state between dreaming and waking. Charlene often finds that her best writing is done when writing to someone about things that are happening in real time. These moments often evolve into characters and stories and books– beloved, treasured, with minds and hearts and lives of their…

The Reproduction of Heirarchy/Basic Tips for Law School Success

  It is no wonder that I began femails.org with two of my law school colleagues. As anyone who has ever gone through it can attest, those three years are formative in so many ways. Here’s a femail that I composed for the poor soul that asked me for advice in entering the process… ________________________…

Moving to You

Courtney and her family will move from Seattle to Detroit next month.  This is an email she wrote to her sister Deirdre, a Detroit-based maker and entrepreneur, who has helped make all of the change a lot easier.   from: Courtney to: Deirdre date: August 6, 2017 subj.: Moving to You   Hey Sis, Thank…

Latent, Simmering Sexism…

It’s an experience all too common for women in the workforce and it takes a fair bit of bravery to speak up about it: latent sexism. We have a brave colleague, who will remain anonymous for obvious reasons, that reached out to femails to share her story on this medium. We hope that it can…

Writing About Not Writing

Writing about not writing seems to come easiest to some writers. Here’s a Femail from Betty to her anonymous mentor (hereafter called A.M.), the one she wrote to about not working. ———————- from: Betty to: A.M. date: Tues, July 18, 2017 at 11:01 PM subj: Writing about Not Writing Hi A.M., I meant to write…

Ticking Other: A Diplomat for Diversity and Equality

An excerpt from ‘The Good Immigrant’, subchapter ‘Shade’ by Salena Godden: There is a dream, a grand idealism, that mixed-race people are the hope for change, the peacekeepers, we are the people with an other understanding, with an invested interest in everyone being treated equally as we have a foot and a loyalty in many…

Have Baby, Must Travel

Becoming a parent required Courtney to learn how to hold on tighter to the parts of her identity she values most.  In her latest femail, Courtney maps out her first days and months with her daughter in order to share the experience with a friend who had just given birth and was working through some…

Systematic Uncertainty & Other Feminist Things

While at a Swiss winery one late spring afternoon, Johanna and her dear friend Julia struck up a casual conversation about feminism and women at the workplace. As a particle physicist extraordinaire (watch her womansplaining physics to Howy Day) and celebrated badass female working in STEM policy, Julia thoroughly understands what it means to be…

Dating Advice from a Perpetual Bachelorette

By no means do I qualify as a love guru, but I do actually think I give solid, empowering advice here that deserves to be shared, particularly among women frustrated in this thing we call ‘dating’. A key part to smashing the patriarchy is to break the stereotypes that women should be the passive and…